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When space is silence…
When space is silence…

Words, sounds, and space

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When space is silence…

Words, sounds, and space

Amelia wrote a list

Posted on October 23, 2014 By adcitlali

How?   

Video   He   Guitar   Pink Floyd   –archive
Tattoo   He   Phone   Pills   –attenuate
Photo   She   Mirror   Voices   –fade away

Wish?

Rose   He   Candles   Breakfast kiss   –frame
Wine   He   Passion   Midsummer indulgence   –preserve
Sculpture   She   Wings   Twilight ephemerality   –save

You?

You   He   Face   Man   –contemplate
He?   You?   Ghost   Others   –observe
Amelia   She   Reflection   Path   –embrace

Here?

Possibility   Instant   Expectation   Dream    — …


_____Adriana Citlali
XXIV-X-MMXIV

Meeting the Bar ~ I’ve Got a Little List | dVerse.


 

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Amelia Poetry ephemeralityghostguitarindulgencekisslist poetrymidsummerPink Floydtwilightwish you were here

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Comments (16)

  1. brian miller says:
    October 23, 2014 at 11:50 pm

    fascinating…what an interesting structure you came up with for this…
    ther eis a hint of a story but so much left up to the reader to read into this…
    very cool…

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    1. Adriana Citlali Ramírez says:
      October 23, 2014 at 11:58 pm

      Thanks, Brian. I am glad to read that my list experiment works –somehow… 🙂

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  2. Grace says:
    October 24, 2014 at 1:53 am

    I like the formatting of the list words ~ It looks like a word puzzle, filed with possibilities ~

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  3. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) says:
    October 24, 2014 at 4:13 am

    What a wonder to try to fill the gaps.. An experiment that works for me… Good for Amalia – I hope it plays out well.

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  4. Mohana says:
    October 24, 2014 at 6:49 am

    This is different, and very very interesting.

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  5. Tony Maude says:
    October 24, 2014 at 7:29 am

    That’s definitely a twist on the list-poem I’ve not come across before. As Brian says, it hints at an underlying story – maybe several stories – but leaves a lot of room for the reader to fill in the details.

    I think you should keep experimenting with this; it has great potential.

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    1. Adriana Citlali Ramírez says:
      October 24, 2014 at 2:51 pm

      Thanks for the feedback, Tony. This structure is what felt right when I thought of writing a poem with a list –with the personal constraint of not repeating the structure I used in the previous dVerse list poem exercise.

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  6. Kathy Reed says:
    October 24, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    I agree…starting with this list of word that reference a whole other story..good compilation of associations here.

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  7. claudia says:
    October 24, 2014 at 2:04 pm

    how i wish – how i wish you were here… smiles… i will have an earworm for the rest of the day – smiles
    very cool list

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    1. Adriana Citlali Ramírez says:
      October 24, 2014 at 2:15 pm

      That’s the song!
      Big smiles!

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    2. Porfirio Dario says:
      October 24, 2014 at 2:44 pm

      A piece of the puzzle has been solved! “Wish you were here” is the connection with He and Pink Floyd. Is he in the video or playing this song in the guitar? Or is he an observer?
      This opens more questions: Is he the same as the second he? Is you he? Is she Amelia?
      I have a theory but it doesn’t matter. Your poem makes me think and imagine scenarios.

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      1. Adriana Citlali Ramírez says:
        October 24, 2014 at 2:53 pm

        Thanks! I like that people are able to see some connections and fill in their own story. I have mine, but as you say it is not relevant. The poem has to speak for itself and the reader has to provide the missing pieces.

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  8. Sumana Roy says:
    October 24, 2014 at 3:39 pm

    a new form can start from here…it has great possibilities….comments above have helped me to explore….

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  9. bleibalien says:
    October 24, 2014 at 6:13 pm

    Groovy piece. The form was lovely.

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  10. zongrik says:
    October 25, 2014 at 2:30 am

    poems are expectations and dreams

    hurricane and jordan

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  11. Abhra says:
    October 25, 2014 at 5:36 pm

    Interesting form you use here – like discrete pieces but you weave them together as a whole as well, Nice effect that one.

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Beat #5Beat #5January 29, 2023adcitlali
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Youth and forgivenessMay 1, 2017adcitlali

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