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Words, sounds, and space

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When space is silence…

Words, sounds, and space

Down with a cold

Posted on February 26, 2014 By adcitlali

Amelia follows the cat, stumbles upon a wall, loses control,
falls down that path, finds a mirror.        

Usual symptoms:
  headache
  congested nose
  sore throat
  watery eyes
  occasional fever

Amelia texts a “hello”, looks for the cat, sits on this bench,
waits for the answer: no answer.

Possible causes:
  heartache
  congested mind
  sore memories
  watery eyes
  unknown fear

Amelia reflects a reflection, looks at the path, thinks of the cat.


_____Adriana Citlali
XXVI-II-MMXIV


 

OpenLinkNight ~ February 2014 | dVerse.

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Comments (12)

  1. Bryan Ens says:
    February 26, 2014 at 5:09 pm

    love the form of this…how the second stanza echoes, but changes the first.

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    1. Adriana Citlali Ramírez says:
      February 26, 2014 at 5:54 pm

      Thank you, I am glad you liked it.

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  2. claudia says:
    February 26, 2014 at 5:50 pm

    oh a heartache is much more serious than a headache or a cold…if the soul is suffering, the whole body does..

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    1. Adriana Citlali Ramírez says:
      February 26, 2014 at 9:10 pm

      You are right. It is worse…

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  3. Brian Miller says:
    February 26, 2014 at 6:32 pm

    i am guessing heartache…cause she feels a bit lost in the world…
    and def much worse than a headache or cold…

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  4. Evelyn says:
    February 26, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    I am thinking the cat is in a box and Amelia does not know if it is alive or dead, and maybe it is not time to find out… TE QUIERO!

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    1. Adriana Citlali Ramírez says:
      February 26, 2014 at 9:17 pm

      You really made me laugh! I was not writing about Schrödinger’s cat, though. At least, not to my knowledge, but it is an independent piece now that it is out; as such, it is subject to the reader’s interpretation…. ¡Yo también te quiero!

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  5. Gabriella says:
    February 26, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    I enjoyed your use of contrasts and the possibilities they offered in our understanding of your poem!

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  6. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) says:
    February 26, 2014 at 8:59 pm

    How the subtle changes between your love changes the story … and turns it into a story of loss… very very sad poem in reality.

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  7. Grace says:
    February 26, 2014 at 11:08 pm

    This was like a mystery ~ I like how the refrain changes with the scene ~

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  8. ramblingsfromamum says:
    February 26, 2014 at 11:37 pm

    two different sides ~ joined together, a sadness in the knowledge that there was no answer. The symptoms far worse in the 2nd stanza ~ nice linking.

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  9. seingraham says:
    February 27, 2014 at 4:20 am

    What an interesting style and form…I enjoyed this immensely, especially the enigmatic last line.
    Thanks so much for stopping by my blog earlier with your uplifting comment about twilight…I’m inclined to think of her in a kind light also…

    http://seingrahamsays.wordpress.com/2014/02/25/twilights-lament/

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Comments are closed.

Beat #5Beat #5January 29, 2023adcitlali
Youth and forgivenessMay 1, 2017adcitlali
ForgetnessForgetnessNovember 24, 2020adcitlali

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