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When space is silence…

Words, sounds, and space

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When space is silence…

Words, sounds, and space

Dark, bleeding, noiseless days

Posted on January 15, 2015 By adcitlali

i.
Monday was dark  
         scented with coffee  
lethargic  
         as northern fog  

ii.
Thursday
         –you said
can let those colours bleed
         –I stared

iii.
Today is noiseless
         only peaceful whispers
interrupt
         with inky voices


_____Adriana Citlali
XV-I-MMXV

The words I just wrote are my first try at tenWord poetry –a form invented by Brian Miller.

In Brian’s words:
“I call this one tenWord, because after ten words no one is listening anyway, or already formulating their response…and what can you say in ten words…”

 
dVerse.

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Comments (25)

  1. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) says:
    January 15, 2015 at 10:15 pm

    Your word capture living in a Nordic country perfectly.. the first one including the coffee, really make you understand how we manage.

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    1. Adriana Citlali Ramírez says:
      January 15, 2015 at 10:25 pm

      I am not sure I manage all that well myself. Though, I feel I understand the rhythm of northern lands. Thanks for stopping by!

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  2. brian miller says:
    January 15, 2015 at 10:33 pm

    wednesday was icy & cold,
    different than the coffee warming me.

    glad you got the whispers
    in tenwords & well beyond.

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    1. Adriana Citlali Ramírez says:
      January 15, 2015 at 10:48 pm

      Thanks for writing Wednesday… smiles…

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  3. Grace says:
    January 15, 2015 at 10:38 pm

    I am shivering with that northern fog ~ Good job with the tenwords limit ~

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    1. Adriana Citlali Ramírez says:
      January 15, 2015 at 10:49 pm

      Thanks, Grace. The northern fog is special and cold –I have an ambivalent feeling about it.

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  4. Kathy Reed says:
    January 15, 2015 at 10:47 pm

    I like the ideas of coffee, colours, and whispers..

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    1. Adriana Citlali Ramírez says:
      January 15, 2015 at 10:50 pm

      Thank you, Kathy.

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  5. charliezero1.wordpress.com says:
    January 15, 2015 at 10:54 pm

    Your words are breath-taking and just amazingly written.

    I love this poem by you.

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    1. Adriana Citlali Ramírez says:
      January 15, 2015 at 11:01 pm

      Very kind words, Charlie. 🙂

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  6. Victoria C. Slotto says:
    January 15, 2015 at 10:56 pm

    Definitely can feel the cold and bleakness of a winter day. You really capture the mood in this one.

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  7. wolfsrosebud says:
    January 15, 2015 at 11:55 pm

    i like the progression in this and the sensory words

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  8. Gabriella says:
    January 16, 2015 at 1:53 am

    I like how you convey a kind of muffled winter atmosphere in your poems. I take it you are still in Norway. The first one is my favorite.

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  9. Glenn Buttkus says:
    January 16, 2015 at 2:01 am

    Kind of an exotic foreign flavor to this one; very cool take on the ten Word prompt; excellent summation/description of a Scandinavian wintry bleakness; I felt your last stanza was killer.

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  10. claudia says:
    January 16, 2015 at 4:49 am

    wow… you manage well to capture the feel of a day in just few words..

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  11. anmol(alias HA) says:
    January 16, 2015 at 10:21 am

    Oh! I loved that second one. Well-penned. 🙂
    -HA

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  12. Snakypoet (Rosemary Nissen-Wade) says:
    January 16, 2015 at 11:12 am

    I love these vivid images.

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  13. Misky says:
    January 16, 2015 at 11:36 am

    Goodness, I suddenly smelled coffee!

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  14. annell4 says:
    January 16, 2015 at 2:46 pm

    I love those dark days, each one!

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  15. Ginny Brannan says:
    January 16, 2015 at 3:46 pm

    These are just perfectly lovely, and in their briefness still read as poetry should read. Well done!

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  16. Steve Shultz says:
    January 16, 2015 at 6:09 pm

    Love the imagery of the whispers and inky voices!

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  17. Mama Zen says:
    January 16, 2015 at 7:20 pm

    These are perfect!

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    1. Adriana Citlali Ramírez says:
      January 17, 2015 at 12:31 am

      I am beyond words. Thank you!

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  18. ManicDdaily says:
    January 19, 2015 at 12:15 am

    I especially like the first one Adriana–creative and evocative! Thanks .k.

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    1. Adriana Citlali Ramírez says:
      January 19, 2015 at 12:26 am

      Thank you! 🙂

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Comments are closed.

Beat #5Beat #5January 29, 2023adcitlali
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