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When space is silence…
When space is silence…

Words, sounds, and space

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When space is silence…

Words, sounds, and space

Did I?

Posted on January 12, 2016 By adcitlali

I remembered you red, crimson red, with blue eyes, dark suit. A glare burnt into forced amnesia. A flare that lingered through the fall. Forbidden faint memories, triggered by the echo of my voice —I don’t need you. You don’t need me.    

I saw you after the storm yesterday. Did you say hello? Did I? Your silver eyes smiled, like a secret sparkle. You changed. Did I?    

Winter blossom, scarlet flower.    
So late.   Oh!   So early.
Will you survive this snow storm?


_____Adriana Citlali
XII-I-MMXVI

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Comments (16)

  1. kanzensakura says:
    January 12, 2016 at 12:18 am

    An interesting take. I hope you didn’t have a problem with the photo. Some people reported having a problem with a copy of the copy of the copy. And yes, I think it will survive. It is always amazing how the most fragile things will survive the hardest times. Thank you for participating.

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  2. Grace says:
    January 12, 2016 at 12:49 am

    Hopefully for a little time ~ I like the energy of the relationship flowing mysteriously as snow storm appears ~

    Thanks for joining us for Haibun Monday ~

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  3. Bodhirose says:
    January 12, 2016 at 3:54 am

    It’s always interesting seeing a certain someone after a while. Many times people have changed…some not. But as for that flower, I think it can survive.

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  4. katiemiafrederick says:
    January 12, 2016 at 6:35 am

    Love.. a flower that
    grows.. flower..
    a Love that
    glows..

    Red.. a color
    both
    ways.. goes..:)

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  5. MarinaSofia says:
    January 12, 2016 at 8:03 am

    I like that contrast and so much left unspoken in the line: ‘So late. Oh! So early.’

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  6. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) says:
    January 12, 2016 at 9:26 am

    There is so much in this that I like… mostly what is not said, the hinted in the prose, the allure mingled with disappointments maybe… wondrous.

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  7. Mary says:
    January 12, 2016 at 12:52 pm

    An excellent haibun. One I had to read a few times. I wonder if either said hello! Despite the change.

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    1. Adriana Citlali Ramírez says:
      January 12, 2016 at 3:20 pm

      Good question. I don’t know the answer, though. Maybe it will come as a new haibun. Ha ha!

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  8. writersdream9 says:
    January 12, 2016 at 12:56 pm

    The flow between the inner and outer worlds is amazing. Felt totally into the whole thing and was sort of sorry it ended!

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    1. Adriana Citlali Ramírez says:
      January 12, 2016 at 3:20 pm

      That is a very kind compliment. Thanks a lot!

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      1. writersdream9 says:
        January 12, 2016 at 3:29 pm

        My pleasure!

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  9. petrujviljoen says:
    January 12, 2016 at 3:07 pm

    Time passed between the two meetings, plenty of it, I think. Fragility indicated. I loved this very much. The middle line specially.

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  10. Gay Reiser Cannon says:
    January 12, 2016 at 5:55 pm

    I like this a lot. A good poem should pose more questions than it provides answers. The story lies between the words which sparkle like morning sun on new fallen snow.

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  11. georgeplace2013 says:
    January 12, 2016 at 6:18 pm

    I esp. like the haiku and the ending query

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  12. Victoria C. Slotto says:
    January 14, 2016 at 12:33 am

    This makes me want to know the backstory. Nice descriptions.

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  13. Snakypoet (Rosemary Nissen-Wade) says:
    January 21, 2016 at 5:31 am

    Poignant, haunting.

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Comments are closed.

Beat #5Beat #5January 29, 2023adcitlali
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ForgetnessForgetnessNovember 24, 2020adcitlali

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