Nonsense to my ears
strange tastes
weird moments
and a couple of smiles
marking the very beginning
and the final good-bye
A visit worth ending …
I’m in the middle of this
in the height of the senseless moments
and the zenith of being told (albeit without words)
that is best if I pretend to disappear
I wonder why I am here
how I manage to forget
the dynamics of this foreign cold gang
But do I really forget?
Or do I just pretend I do?
When will this end?
My ignore-them will is at max
Not enough!
Maybe I should add noise
the sound of a gun killing my eagerness to walk out the door
or a bomb with evanescent smoke and vanishing powders
The end is coming
It is a cup of coffee away
dark coffee
I need to prepare the smile
End
.
_____Adriana Citlali
VIII-IX-MMXIII
dang…this gets pretty intense there in the end as the gun come sout…makes me think of bullying…the questioning of why you are even around is raw to me as it was said to me in my teens by my sister and stung deep to the soul and led in part to my running away….
Hi Brian, thanks for stopping by.
I had a dark week… Ha! The question you raise is right on spot. I guess sometimes we do/accept things/situations we don’t like for the sake of a greater good or purpose. That doesn’t mean that it is the correct choice.
ah i have dark weeks as well, so i feel you….i am glad to see you writing though, that is awesome…smiles…sometimes those situ/things are def hard to swallow….
I’m intrigued by the image of–“pretend to disappear” and “Maybe I should add noise” and then noise you add is a not so genuine smile.
Personally, I think that anything can be considered genuine noise, it all depends what we call signal. 🙂
This one was very intense … almost like a riddle what is really happening.. the pretend to disappear… almost sinister… like it to be enigmatic…
Thank you!
oh heck…really tight emotions in there…the hurt can be clearly felt – it’s tough when things like this happen, when someone is told without words yet clearly understood…ugh… really tightly penned adriana
Claudia: Your last words lightened up a hard week.
Hi Adriana — this certainly describes well the kinds of frustrations that life can bring our way–I say life, but maybe it is the people in our lives — this sounds like end of the tether kind of talk – very intensely put together. Thanks for joining in. k.
It is always helpful, as a poet, to learn that my words evoked the feeling I thought I wrote about. Thank you.
There is so much power and intensity in your truth. I was gripped reading this and felt like I had ring side seats to your emotions. Great writing.
Thank you, Kathryn.
Hi Adriana.
You impressed me, I definitely feel your feelings!
You and Kari Bremnes have something In common: Being able to describe feelings by words in a clear but “magic” way – thanks for the poem.
Thank you very much for your kind words. I learned to admire not only Kari’s voice and music, but her words thanks to your patience translating her lyrics to me. 🙂